Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hillarious excerpt from my family blog!!!!

Oh who couldn't use a good laugh once in a while- right! So, I thought I would share this "venting" session I stumbled on from my family blog. Also, let me just add that we have since relocated and don't have the "joy" of the neighborhood in this story any longer. PRAISE the GOOD LORD!!!


 

venting

Okay, bear with me people- I just need to vent! So, can anyone tell me why your complete stranger neighbor thinks they have the right to comment on how many children you have? Or why the guy in the grocery store thinks he can huff at you because you didn't put the little plastic bar on the counter yet- even though you weren't FINISHED unloading your basket YET! Or why anyone, in the entire world, has any reason to say things like "wow, you have your hands full", or "oh, it will get better EVENTUALLY", or "wow, you must have started REALLY young", or my all time favorite "so, do they all have the same dad, because that big one doesn't look like the rest of them"- with that child standing right there!!!! I just want to kick people in the teeth sometimes- well, getting my foot that high could prove to be challenging- but I am thinking I might be willing to try!!!! Okay, I know that wouldn't be what Jesus would do- so I promise not to try it- I just think about it in my head... over and over and over! Oooh, yeah, and how about the complete stranger from down the road that comes over- huge glass of wine in hand, and comments that he doesn't think our fence looks exactly straight from his house- I feel like saying "hey buddy, maybe if you sober up, everything would look a little more straight to ya!" Oh, and then the lady down the road who says "you need to sweep the leaves off of the sidewalk, they are distracting my dogs from going potty."- yeah, Lady, I'll get right on that! Lord knows we don't want your dog to be distracted from pooping in MY yard! Sure, yeah, you know, I was going to go home school my kids, but instead, I will sweep the leaves so your dog can use my kids yard as a toilet! Come on!!!! I tell you, I think I live in a neighborhood of retired idiots! We were in the process of building our picket fence, and had only gotten one small section up, in a random place, and one lady actually stopped and said "oh, are you going to do anything more with the fence?"- yeah lady, like we are going to leave a 4 foot section of fence half way down the length of our yard- we were fencing the view??? what, seriously, did she think we were done???? Oh, and the other lady, who walked by as I had just started painting (literally, had only painted like 3 pickets) and she says (in her sweetest little grandma voice)- "dear, it looks like you missed a few places, are you going to go back over those?"- no, lady, I was thinking that I only wanted 3 pickets in the whole fence to be white- and how rational is that anyway, if I had really "missed" a few spots, wouldn't she really have thought that I was putting wood grain on a white board since the percentage of wood to white was far greater???? Oh, wait, that would be sensible, which she was not!!!! Okay, thank you for listening- I feel much better! Stay tuned for next weeks episode of "Mrs. Joni's  Neighborhood"- won't you be my neighbor? No, seriously, if any of you lovely friends of mine want to come in and take over the geriatric population's homes, and be my neighbors- I would be forever grateful. Just think about it .... please!!!!

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